Tomorrow, you are an official Kindergartner.
Part of me is the crying mom. You know – the mom that just sits in her car after drop off and sobs. Because every day, you’re growing up. You need me less, or at least in different ways.
I’m sad because I’m scared to send you into the world. Yes, you’ve been to preschool, and countless other things outside of our house, but now you’re going to “big kid” school. Bullies, self esteem, frustration, friends, all of it. I want you to remain unscarred. But when the tough parts of childhood happen, I’ll be here. That will never change. Even big kids need their moms sometimes, right?
I’m sad because our snuggle time will be less, and because Kindergarten means that 1st grade is next..then 2nd…and so on. I’m sad because I love the little boy you are so much, that I never want you to change.
But then I realize…
I’m so proud.
I’m so proud of the boy you are becoming. You’re caring, empathetic, and quirky. You’re smart, sassy in a sweet way, and honestly – you’re adorable. I love the way you treat other kids, I love the way you live your life full of big-grin smiles and carefree booty dances. I’m proud of your character, and the way you do everything in your life with all you have.
And, I’m proud of me. This mom’ing thing, it isn’t a walk in the park. And I think back to when we came home from the hospital with you – elated and on Cloud 9, but having no clue what we were actually doing. Sometimes you’d just cry for hours, and would try everything to soothe you. But somehow, we helped shape you into this amazing little boy that you are today. I’m so thankful for you, and also so thankful that you made me a mom.
Lastly, I’m excited for you. Because, I know deep within me, that even if you face the stuff that childhood can sometimes hand you, you’ll be ok. And I know that you will do amazing things along the way…in orange Crocs none the less.
Plus, there’s nothing better than fresh crayons and paper your sister won’t tear from your hands 😉 And don’t worry – they have Legos in the classroom if you experience Lego Deprivation Syndrome.
Love ya kiddo,